Diary of a Grieving Woman: A Poem About My Unpopular Opinion About Strength

I am not strong by choice

I am not strong by desire

I do not wear strength as a badge of honor

Grief hurts

Disappointment aches

Pain is debilitating

The universe’s relentless attack on my well-being is not a battle I’m excited for

I do not wake up looking for my troubles

The anticipation of contending with human perils haunt me

It’s exhausting

I’m tired

My soul wants rest

My soul longs to exist in an environment that is non-contentious

BUT YET..I FIGHT

Strength is my inheritance

Strength is the mantle passed down to me from my ancestors

Strength whispers in my ears when I cover my eyes

Strength visits me in my dreams when I refuse to see it in my waking life

Strength follows me like my shadow

Strength has a master key to my locked doors

Strength beckons me

Strength reminds me that there is always more

More to feel

More to gain

More to lose

More to conquer

Strength is a reminder that shit is flawed

Strength is a reminder that there is no other way

Strength is a reminder that the job is always unfinished

Strength is a reminder that I must clean up this mess I inherited by virtue of human existence

Strength feels like my achilles’ heel

Possibly, in another lifetime

I hope to not need strength

An end to war and disharmony

I will be free of its grip because..

I am not strong by choice.